He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
