so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
