This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
