you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
