You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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