i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
