I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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