He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
