you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
