My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
