Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
