So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
