How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize