I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pants are for mortals
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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