she smelled like a LAN party
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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