no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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