drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
