Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
