windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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