pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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