There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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