I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
