I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
