This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
