dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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