fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
