If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
