It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
