Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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