My friends, they love my intelligence
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
