i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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