he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
