I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
