Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
