Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
