i wish starbucks made bloody marys
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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