I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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