I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
