Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
