I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
