I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
