I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize