you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I deserve this hangover.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
