Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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