; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
