Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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