I wish I only lived at night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im just a social blackout drinker.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
