Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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