Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
this hospital has no fireball
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
