The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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