No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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