I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
