We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
