so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
