I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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