wrigley field is MILF paradise
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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