apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
