I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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