I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
