All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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