So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
