im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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