if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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