he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
