If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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