so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize