that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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